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The emotional development that occurs inside a 12 year old can take everyone in a household on a roller-coaster ride. Twelve year olds tend to be egocentric – focusing on themselves and becoming independent from their parents. They can be moody, rude and short-tempered but sometimes, like a fresh breeze, they can be pleasant and good-natured. Fluctuating moods and even rebellion are at the order of the day. Hormones also play a role in their mood swings.
Twelve year olds tend to have very high expectations of themselves but often struggle with a lack of confidence. They worry a lot, about everything…what their peers think of them, about the people they love, about their grades and appearance. Parents of 12 year olds are often left wondering what their pre-teen is thinking or worrying about. Friends often become substitutes for parents and thus they prefer sharing their feelings with friends rather than parents…the independence thing again. Though they have a strong sense of right and wrong it is at around this age that they could start experimenting with drugs, alcohol etc. Peer pressure still plays a big role but
friendships, especially among girls, tend to be less stormy than at eleven.
Physical appearance plays a big role and what you wear is a big issue at twelve. Until recently 12 was also the age when eating disorders used to rear their heads. It is a sad fact that nowadays disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa or Compulsive eating plagues children much younger than twelve. It is estimated that 40% of 9 year old girls have dieted at some stage and that 4 and 5 year olds are already talking about needing to diet. Why this is, is a debate in itself but my personal opinion is that the media plays a tremendous role in portraying a unrealistic image to these vulnerable, insecure creatures.
Twelve year olds have a need for more independence and enjoy having control over issues like friends, school work and social activities. Yet they still need guidelines and limits in order to feel safe. Positive feedback and praise still go a long way to build their confidence. It may seem as if they are irritated by parent’s declarations of love but they do need to hear and experience that they are still loved and nurtured. It is a scary thing to let go of the hands that raised you and walk into the big wide world with all it’s demands and issues.
Thank you for a great post.
I never thought of it that way, well put!